


Buffy: Reprise

by CantSpeakFae



Series: The Scars Souvenir [10]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Episode Revisit + Revision, Slightly AU from here, Written from Xander's P.O.V
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 00:54:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18187700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CantSpeakFae/pseuds/CantSpeakFae
Summary: Buffy must think that too, must feel that connection and know that he’s there for her, because she singles him out, of everyone, and pulls him to the dance floor.





	Buffy: Reprise

Buffy died.   
  
It was only for a few minutes, but it… made her different. Xander guesses that things like that have an impact. Jesse died too, and just like Buffy, he didn’t stay dead and he was...different. Only, Jesse had real fangs while Buffy’s have only been proverbial.   
  
Very verbial, in fact. Her snark levels are off the charts, insults landing a little too well, with a little too much malice. Even her friendly fire seems...less friendly. Willow’s worried. Giles is worried. _Cordelia_ is worried. Xander’s worried, too, but he’s trying harder to be understanding. He’s never died, but he knows what it feels like to be changed by something that no one else around you seems to be going through or has ever gone through. And, part of him thinks that he gets it in a way the rest of them don’t, because he was there. Not when she died, but he was there to bring her back. Not even Angel could do that for her.   
  
That sounds petty and weird, even in his mind, so he doesn’t say it out loud. But he thinks… he does think that he understands. Even if it’s just a little more than the rest of them. And he thinks that Buffy must think that too - must feel that connection and know that he’s there for her because she singles him out, of everyone, and pulls /him/ to the dance floor.   
  
He’s surprised, at first. It’s not a great place to _talk_  about whatever’s been bugging her. But then she starts to move. Slow dancing, sensually. He doesn’t know the song that’s playing, can’t even really hear the lyrics, but he doesn’t need to, because he can _see_  the beat in the way that Buffy sways her hips and runs her hands through her hair, down her body. He spent the entire summer trying to get over her - spent the entire summer trying to turn himself into her best buddy Xander. No crush, no puppy love. Just friendship and support and getting over himself because he’d rather have her as a friend than as nothing at all. And in three seconds, she’s turned it that on its head.  
  
Turned more than that, actually. Turned in a literal sense. She spins around and faces away from him, but doesn’t move away. She backs up into him, instead, puppeting him. Pulling his arms around her waist and grinding her hips and shoulders against him. And his brain goes haywire, trying to process. Trying to keep _up_. Part of him - a small part - realizes that he’s getting what he asked for. He’s getting that dance that they never went to. It’s not what he’d imagined. He’d been thinking something more like prom in an 80s movie than _this_ , but he’s not complaining. Not at all. Does this mean she likes him, now? What changed her mind? His heart stutters in his chest.   
  
She reaches up, then, stroking her hand against his face. His eyes threaten to close at the gentle touch, full of promises that he never thought she’d make to him. He’s jonesing for it. All systems on. Not fully engaged, but getting there. And a triumphant chorus in his mind, the one that hadn’t given up hope that one day she’d wake up and decide that he _was_  what she wanted, starts a gleeful song.   
  
Buffy turns her head to him, tilts her head up, close enough to kiss him. He can smell the cherry of her lip gloss and his head spins. Is this happening? Or is this another dream?   
  
“Xander?” She asks, her voice husky. “Did I ever thank you… for saving my life?”   
  
The question startles him. He’d never expected a thank you. “No.”  
  
She starts to slide away from him. Around him. She doesn’t stop touching him, but circles. Like a predator about to pounce. She stops, leans up, and whispers to him again.  
  
“Don’t you wish I would?”   
  
And then she’s gone. Breaking away, crossing the dance floor, off to grab her coat. Leaving Xander standing there, suddenly cold. Cold without her body pressed to his, but also cold when he squints against the lighting of the Bronze and sees the people staring at him. Willow, with hurt disbelief. Cordelia with shock and irritation. And Angel.   
  
Angel staring at him with blackened fury and jealousy. Not quite in game face, but teeth too sharp to be human and eyes flashing yellow and Xander feels very afraid of him for the first time.   
  
He also feels ashamed and humiliated, a sour taste on his tongue and he could just kick himself. Of course, it didn’t mean anything. Buffy didn’t s _uddenly_  like him. She was just using him. Toying with him. Playing with him to hurt Angel, or to hurt herself, or something. To his utter astonishment, his eyes are suddenly stinging and he bolts from the dance floor. Doesn’t look at anyone, keeps his head down and gaze fixed on the ground all the way home. He’s not even sure how he makes it there in one piece, but he barrels past his father, up the stairs, to his bedroom, and slams the door.  
  
Everything on his shelves shake. He kicks off his shoes and jumps into bed, breathing heavily. He doesn’t cry, but he feels sick and strange. Like that time that Jesse had been made team captain for dodgeball and hadn’t picked Xander first. Only, less third-grade-petty. He’s used to rejection, but a clean-cut, simple and to the point kinda rejection. Not… that. Not the kind that got his hopes up, paraded him around, and then dropped him like a toy just to get another guy riled up. Especially a guy with _fangs_.  
  
He doesn’t sleep well, that night. Hardly sleeps at all.  
  
 _Something about his best friend using him to piss off a vampire just doesn’t sit well with him. Go figure._


End file.
